Well, it sure has been a while. Almost a month, in fact. I am most definitely not been living up to my expectations with this blog at all. Oh well.
One of the reasons is that I've been so busy. Now that I've started my job, I don't get home during the week until 5:30 or so. My curfew is 10 (although, frankly, based on how tired I am every day after work, I can't really go much past that safely during the week anyways. The weekend is a different matter entirely, and can become really lame sometimes due to this fact). Once a month I work 8-12 at Shadow Mountain, meaning my Sunday once a month doesn't start until about 1. I also work every Sunday night, so I'm busy Sunday nights ~5-7:45. Each of these jobs provides something important (namely money or community service hours), but it is becoming the death of my social life.
Anyway. On to life. All's going pretty much to plan right now. Pretty much all I can say on that matter. Wish my car got better gas mileage, wish my curfew wasn't so early, but besides, no real complaints. For the first time in my adult/teen life, I'd have to say. Summer is nothing like what I had expected, but I'm not upset at all about that.
I haven't been chainmailling at all yet, besides winding quite a few coils and cutting most of them. I've got 1800 rings cut, but not finished....I just don't seem to have the hours I want to sit and crank a bunch out at a time. Something to work on, maybe even next week.
If I have neglected to hang out with you or call you, I'm very sorry, I've had almost 0 free time...and a lot of that has been reserved ahead of time for various purposes. I'll try to be better from now on.
At this point, in terms of my philosophies, ideas, thoughts, etc, there is very little happening on that front overall. One reason is that I've been so busy I haven't had much thinking time. The other is that, as of now, I'm getting closer and closer to solidifying my philosophies, I think (I'm always learning and open, of course, to new ideas.). They seem to be, for the vast majority of them, being proven that how I view things works.
The last thing, I think, for now, is to apologize for the lack of development on the writing front. I've promised more of the Ace's story, and have completely failed to deliver. That is my fault. I've put that story aside for a bit, while I was working on some other things. I plan on getting back to him soon, before the story stagnates. I think this is the first writing I've started that I feel I can continue to completion. For those of you that actually read it, and enjoy that story, maybe by the end of the month I'll have the next chapter up and done. Once school starts again, I should be writing more. We'll see.
So, in closing, this summer I'm looking forward to:
A host of epic movies, like Public Enemies, Harry Potter, etc.
Getting to Dizzy's more this summer and enjoying some epic jazz.
Figuring out skype on my macbook so I can start talking to my buddy across the country.
Doing more photography and digital arts.
Improving on guitar.
COMIC CON!
Spending time with her.
What are you looking forward to?
Signing off,
Tiberius Jones
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
So after some major turbulence last week, things are really looking up. I can honestly say I am, if not THE happiest I've ever been (despite some retarded constraints), I am definitely tied with that time. In fact, for those who know me well, this is odd. I never really talk about how happy I am. But I am going to, because I really am that much.
Some of this has come from a relatively radical shift in perspective (which has been happening over the last several months, really).
More to come when I get some time to explain more...
But for now, enjoy the music, and no matter what is happening in your life at the moment, whether it's in the shitter (I've been there before), or if it's as awesome as it could be, listen ot the following two videos, and look towards the new day.
Singing off,
Tiberius Jones
For this next song, it doesn't matter if you drink, take the idea and live it.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
In looking over some recent events, I fear that some of the things I have interpreted and/or inferred are grossly incorrect. I hope I'm wrong about that, but as of now, it looks like some of the things I had hoped were going to happen this summer will not be happening.
Especially since yesterday evening, I have been losing control of certain parts of my life that I previously did have power over. Many of these things are not major or really meaningful, except that I could control them.
The reason why many people develop anorexia/bulemia is said to be that they don't have control over much of their lives, and so the one thing they can control, food, then becomes the forefront in their world. I don't know enough about the research to say this is true, but I believe it.
I feel a bit like that (don't worry, I'm not becoming destructive in any way). I just really hope that the one thing I was really holding out on will still work out. It's mostly my fault, to be sure. I have trouble in this area as it is, I'm inexperienced. But maybe I'll pull through and go ahead. Only then will I know whether or not it works out or not.
It's easier to keep this particular part of my life in limbo, but the longer I do, the closer I get to Hell rather than Heaven (terrible metaphor, but it describes it basically enough).
Don't put too much thought into this if you're reading this; this post I think is mostly for me (and a few people, who hopefully all know who they are). If you do give a crap though, I'd be happy to talk to you, privately.
I believe that with conscious effort, we all grow. Not necessarily physically; in the beginning, that is more true than later. To use an example, in the movie "Big Fish," Edward Bloom begins to grow too fast for his own body, and realizes that he, like the goldfish, will grow to the size of whatever bowl he is placed in. He needs a bigger bowl than the small Louisiana town he lives in, and eventually leaves. Edward's goldfish problem is mainly physical, but I have come to believe that the physical is only the beginning.
I think that, with the ever-important conscious effort included, that we grow not like goldfish (linearly), but like the Fibonacci sequence. For those of you who don't know, the Fibonacci sequence is an important mathematical formula that goes like this: 0, 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21, 34, 55, etc. The last two numbers are added to create the next one. There is a great Wikipedia article on the sequence, if you care about such things.
When we are small, we grow relatively slowly. But as time goes on, everything we learn builds on the previous things we have learned. School is a good example, but I ultimately am talking about life itself. We learn important lessons every day, each one only accessible when the last lesson has been learned. And as each successive number is created, we grow as people, until we become bigger and bigger. But the important thing here is consciousness of this. Without being aware of this phenomena, you will still keep adding your numbers, but much slower, and you will eventually stop much earlier in the sequence than someone who is aware of how it works.
If you can't see the pattern, how can you add to it?
There are good and bad patterns, some with upward spirals, and some with downward spirals. They all add up, are calculated into one large spiral, that defines you and your path. Sometimes, you'll derail, but you can get back up and continue. Sometimes, you won't. There are such things as making an unredeemable mistake. But they are fewer and farer between than most people think. There is almost always something to be had out of any situation, if you know how to look for it.
This brings me to my realization of this phenomena. Over the last year, I have made many mistakes. Some were huge, some didn't matter so much. But what I have been doing differently with these mistakes (and my successes) than before I left (or, much more so) is learning from them, consciously.
I realized another today/last night. I realized I had again fallen into the trap so many of us fall into: giving advice, but not following it ourselves. Talking the talk, without walking the walk, if you excuse my cliche saying. I have over the past year begun to try to talk less talk and walk more walk.
So when I realized what I was doing today/last night, I started thinking more about it, and eventually came upon my Fibonacci theory. Believe in it yourself or not, but it is one more of my theories that I will try to live my life by now, so now I must venture into another difficult realm for me, to overcome my talk and to start walking my walk in this particular facet of my life. If I fail, I will be disappointed in myself for not acting earlier, but will learn from my mistake. If not, then I'll still have something else to learn. Wish me luck.
"Man's mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions."
Oliver Wendell Holmes
"You learn something every day if you pay attention."
NOTE: This is fiction. Also, the last post was fiction too, but I forgot to put a heading on that said that. I have edited that post to include that heading now. Both this post and the last one are two of a couple one-pagers I wrote, bored. They're just random thoughts I expanded on and gave a voice to.
What’s in a dream? Is it nothing? Are dreams what scientists believe, simply your brain rebooting, organizing, filing away random memories and ideas? Or are they more? Are dreams your subconscious, a way of your mind working out problems and issues without your conscious mind there to interfere and screw things up? Are they your subconscious trying to tell you something?
Could a dream be a real thing, a real place that you build out of thoughts? Is it that you travel there when you sleep, transporting yourself to a private universe that you are master and commander of, where you float above everything as if on a cloud, and watch down as events unfold beneath your watch like raindrops, each one falling, falling, falling towards the ground of your constructed world?
Perhaps these universes float past each other like an immense river, each person’s universe a tiny bubble, each one jostling and rubbing against another, where every person asleep on Earth is connected to each other, linked in this river of dreams.
Perhaps, in the middle of the night, when you are sound asleep, dreaming of a rainy day where you sit, sit, sit in front of the crackling fire all day and drink cup after cup after cup of tea, that when you wake up suddenly and sit up fast, sweating for no reason because the fan is on in your room and the covers are all kicked off, maybe it’s because your personal bubble in the river of dreams was jostled too hard. Maybe your bubble popped, and your universe imploded around you in an instant. And you sweat because deep down you realize your mortality, and that even though this time it was only the death of your dreams, maybe next time it will be the death of you.
And if these worlds existed, these tiny universes all sifting and flowing past each other in an endless river, simultaneous creation and extinction as people across the Earth fall asleep and wake up, if this river were real, what would make up the fish? And who would be the fisherman?
*EDIT*: This s fiction; I forgot to put a notice up. I wrote a couple random one-pagers. Here's the first one.
I feel strangled by the world around me. I have these feelings, thoughts, emotions, within me.
They make me feel like I have unlimited potential.
The world is at my fingertips. Whatever I so choose as to include in my domain, is. But I do not seek power, nor glory. I seek neither fame, nor fortune (not for the sake of itself). I seek fulfillment.
I have been undergoing a transformation lately. I believe that I am taking myself to a new, better place to be. I still make mistakes. I know I always will. Sometimes I see the future, in my dreams. I see nothing eventful, nothing of importance.
Eating fast food with a friend. I laugh and a fry falls from my mouth. We both laugh harder. The sun shines on us, reflects off the windows, off the concrete. Off the linoleum table and plastic umbrella above us. It is so bright I squint until my eyes are pinpricks trapped behind a prison of eyelashes. I reflect, in this dream, and again in the future when it happens, that this is as good as it gets. I will experience no greater joy, than the mutual feeling of being completed together. I will experience joys as powerful as this. But none more so.
I am not sure if I am normal, or if I am extranormal. I do not use extraordinary. I cannot literally fly. I do not have supervision. I am human.
I wonder if everyone feels this way. I am told that it is so, a part of growing older. Hormones, chemicals pouring through my body. An artificial feeling. Is all of this Evolution's dictation, or am I the exception to the rule?
People tell me they feel the same way. What if they only wish that were true? What if I do not feel this way, but wish I felt the way I think I do? Why does it matter?
I am not deep, introspective. My thoughts are abstract. If I tried to logically answer all of them, in a straightforward way, I would lose my life. Live is meant to be lived, and answers are only to learned from experience. To try to answer them in any other way is useless, mental masturbation. True answers are only revealed through experience.
I greatly fear not accomplishing what I need to in life. I do not fear the work. I do not fear failure. I fear complete failure, where I don't give up, but I can't win. Sometimes, it doesn't matter how hard you try, how good you are.
I waste time here, making up excuses. I disgust myself.
I have these feelings, thoughts, emotions, within me.
They make me feel like I have unlimited potential.
Why do I still fear what may happen if I unbind myself?
As much as I'd like to write a good long blog about something I have a strong opinion about or just write some short story, I am turning to you guys, ye few who read this. I've got a couple questions that I'd like and answer to, just a poll if you will. Please comment with your opinion, I like the sample of people who read this, and I'd like a comment from each of you. If you don't want to do the whole list, just answer them in a row until you're done (I want them answered in order of appearance)
Here are a couple of questions I'd like your opinion on:
1. Are you interested in/do you enjoy stories (articles, story, novel, movie, song): a) about Investigative Journalists? b) about Private Investigators? c) with a bar/club/restaurant that serves as a major setting d) based in San Diego? LA? New York? England? Europe? Asia? Africa? (basically, where's your favorite setting)
2. How often do you read for a reason other than a school/work-related one?
3. How long, on average do you read when you do so for non-school/work purposes?
4. What type (book, newspaper, blog, etc.) of reading do you prefer, and what genre (journals, fiction, history, etc.)
5-6. Same as 2-3, but for television/film (including internet video)
7-8. Same as 2-3, but with music?
9-10. And last time, same as 2-3, but with the internet (also, additional date on your social networking only data)
Signing off, Tiberius Jones
Thanks guys. And here's something to listen to while you answer:
In my last blog (several weeks ago; so much for posting every few days), I put a list of some of my favorite quotes towards the end. Three of them were these:
"I do not agree with what you have to say, but I'll defend to the death your right to say it." -Voltaire
"The only sovereign I can allow to rule me is reason. The first law of reason is this: what exists exists; what is is. From this irreducible, bedrock principle, all knowledge is built. This is the foundation from which life is embraced. Reason is a choice. Wishes and whims are not facts, nor are they a means to discovering them. Reason is our only way of grasping reality--it is our basic tool of survival. We are free to evade the effort of thinking, to reject reason, but we are not free to avoid the penalty of the abyss we refuse to see." -Richard Rahl
"Pity for the guilty is treason to the innocent." -Kahlan Amnell Rahl
Now, everybody knows Voltaire, but I'd be willing to bet most of you reading this aren't familiar with the last two people. Richard and Kahlan Amnell Rahl are the main characters of my favorite series of books, The Sword of Truth series. You may have heard of the show they made from it, Legend of the Seeker (don't watch it; it's terrible). I recommend these books be read over any other book. They changed my outlook on life (or, rather, solidified and clarified it for me) in a profound way. The last several books are fairly preachy, but I didn't mind. But this isn't a book review.
Over the past decades, there has been a major shift in the American culture. Since the 60's (and 50s in some cases), values, materialism, fiscal ideas, and parenting has changed significantly.
No more "firm hands." Children became more and more pampered, as New Age values replaced the 40's and older style parenting of more "hard knocks" style. My generation is the most pampered and cooed-over generation in human history, and I have absolutely no faith in them. It is a trend that has been proven over and over in history with most great civilizations, that each successive generation becomes a little more complacent with their position of wealth than the last, and takes it more for granted.
We have lost our way. I listed those three quotes at the beginning because, to me, they should be core beliefs of everyone. They also seem to be the ones missing from too many people. Go to the top and read them again. Seriously, I'll wait. Done? Good. Now, please bear with me, once more. I did. Each time I wrote for you to go up, I did and read them again.
The first is Voltaire's famous quote, the one that coincides with the First Amendment of the Constitution of the United States of America. Sometimes, people say things that make me want to bash their heads against a wall and yell "WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?" But I don't. Because it is their right. It is a fundamental human right, the freedom of speech.
That freedom, I'm sorry to say, is rapidly going away. Every day we are told how to say things, so that we don't hurt people's feelings. Acts of terrorism are no longer that, but "man-caused disasters." What? I could post dozens of things like this, but this blog will be long enough. But you get my point. We are increasingly expected to act sensitively towards every single human being. Apparently, it is not our right to dislike other people or their lifestyles anymore. I call bullshit! I can go on for a long time about how much I think our current situation with freedom of speech is crap, but if I do, it'll be in a different blog post, for the sake of some sense of brevity. But let me say this: when you are thinking about what you are saying before you say it: why are you thinking about it?
This brings me to the third quote. Another trend I've noticed in our society is that the concept of "pity for the guilty" is not only becoming okay, but is becoming commonplace. Poor people that develop drug addictions and kill for crack money. "But it's not their fault, they're a product of society!" Nobody is a product of society. You are a product of yourself. Let's see that again:
YOU ARE A PRODUCT OF YOURSELF
Some things are out of your control, but even then, what you do in response to those situations make all the difference. We, as a society, have seemed to have lost the concept of personal responsibility. The rampant lawsuits over inane, inappropriate issues are one good example. Everybody is ready to blame somebody else for problems. Sometimes, problems just happen. Deal with it.
But again, this whole pity for the guilty thing. When you pity somebody that is guilty, when you feel bad for somebody because they did something wrong, you are committing "treason to the innocent." Men who rape and murder and steal because their mommy didn't raise them right do not deserve pity (there are cases where this is not true, because abuse does screw up people psychologically. Unfortunately, these days, too much is labeled abuse that is simply crappy parenting, etc.) but punishment. Justice. If you catch yourself feeling sorry for someone being sentenced to life in prison because they murdered their family in a fit of rage because the toast was burnt, wind back and give yourself a nice hard slap on the face. If you're not comfortable with that, I'll do it for you, free of charge. Anytime, that's what friends are for. Just, from now on, don't dishonor people's memories, don't betray the innocent. Think about your feelings towards people, and whether they deserve those feelings.
Now, for the second quote. The mother of all quotes. There's not much I need to say on this. Also, it'd take to long to type. I'd be happy to discuss it in person. Not over email, etc, because I don't type as well as I speak, and it'd take to much of my free time up. Feel free to put your own thoughts down in a comment or send me an email, but don't expect a good argument (if that's what you're looking for) until I see you in person. Just read it once more. And think about it. Think about how that applies to the way you live. Reason is the only thing that must be allowed to rule your soul. Anything else is slavery of the spirit.
An interesting thought occurred to me, about an hour ago: Why are things funny?
We all laugh at certain things. Everybody has a different sense of humor. One thing I will laugh at, another person will be offended, another won't think it was very funny, and another one just won't get it.
Why do I laugh at things that I know are wrong, and object to? Incest is wrong. It is a terrible crime, and I abhor it. But in the famous joke "The Aristocrats," it's an integral part, and when told well, is a hilarious joke.
Of course, many people do not get it, or just don't think it's funny. An hour ago, I watched South Park's version of the joke, where Cartman tells it at the bus stop to Kyle, Kenny and Stan. When he gives the punchline, he does not look at the other boys, which he does while telling the joke, but looks straight into the "camera" with a big goofy grin. It made me laugh so hard my neighbor came up to find out what was going on. When I showed it to her, she didn't get it at all. Couldn't understand "what was so damn funny."
So really, what is "funny?" I'm not going to go into philosophical or sociological reasons, I just think it's odd how humans developed a sense of humor. What's weirder, is that some people seem to not have a sense of humor at all, and don't laugh.
I think that, in general, the average person has a pretty good sense of humor. But, people have a terrible sense of humor. People in general lack a lot of what persons do, which is why I enjoy persons more than people anyway. So, to segue, here are a couple of good quotations (I'll probably do a entire post of them when I get the time to hunt all the ones I've heard down), and a couple versions of the Aristocrats joke if you haven't heard it or want to hear it again.
Signing off, Tiberius Jones
"People suck. But persons are worthwhile, Miss Rogers. Always." -Harry Dresden
"Think off-center." "The status quo sucks." "One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like." -George Carlin
"Common sense is not so common." "I decided to be happy because it's good for my health" "I do not agree with what you have to say, but I'll defend to the death your right to say it." -Voltaire
"Pity for the guilty is treason to the innocent." -Kahlan Amnell Rahl
"The time for desperation is upon us. Let's play." -Zeddicus Zu'l Zorander
"The only sovereign I can allow to rule me is reason. The first law of reason is this: what exists exists; what is is. From this irreducible, bedrock principle, all knowledge is built. This is the foundation from which life is embraced. Reason is a choice. Wishes and whims are not facts, nor are they a means to discovering them. Reason is our only way of grasping reality--it is our basic tool of survival. We are free to evade the effort of thinking, to reject reason, but we are not free to avoid the penalty of the abyss we refuse to see." -Richard Rahl
WARNING: THE FOLLOWING VIDEOS ARE EXTREMELY EXPLICIT. DO NOT WATCH THESE IF YOU ARE OFFENDED BY EXPLICIT LANGUAGE.
Well, like many other things I do, I've wanted to start a blog for some time, and just didn't get around to it for a long time. I don't particularly believe many people read this, and of those who do, not many of those who will return regularly. I write this for myself as much as others, as a way to put down my thoughts, ideas and writing (a sort of journal I suppose) without worrying about losing files in a catastrophic system crash. And I'm to lazy to write all this down by hand, on paper.
I will occasionally put my writing up here, so if you see some rather strange entries, they're not my thoughts, they're my writings. Fiction. Keep that in mind. Fiction. When I write, half the time it ends up very dark, very adult, sometimes with explicit language. I'll add warnings to such posts, so if you're offended by explicit language, steer clear of those. In my writing, sometimes I talk about very adult subjects: violence, murder, mutilation, torture, suicide, and the occasional rape. I do not endorse or encourage any of these actions, and include these subjects for a reason, to make a statement about them. If you cannot find that statement, I apologize; it is because of my lack of ability to convey my meaning.
Well, with that out of the way: enjoy what you read here. I encourage comments of any kind, criticism, praise, or even a "Hey! What's up?" A blogger loves comments on what he puts down of any kind, so feel free.
Expect a post every couple days, if not more often. Hopefully I will reach the point where I'm able to get a post down every day. The more I write, the better I will get (or that's the hope anyway). Also, I'll try to put a great song (in the form of a YouTube video) at the end of each post. Listen to it while you read or after, but I think these songs are great, so you should too.
