In looking over some recent events, I fear that some of the things I have interpreted and/or inferred are grossly incorrect. I hope I'm wrong about that, but as of now, it looks like some of the things I had hoped were going to happen this summer will not be happening.

Especially since yesterday evening, I have been losing control of certain parts of my life that I previously did have power over. Many of these things are not major or really meaningful, except that I could control them.

The reason why many people develop anorexia/bulemia is said to be that they don't have control over much of their lives, and so the one thing they can control, food, then becomes the forefront in their world. I don't know enough about the research to say this is true, but I believe it.

I feel a bit like that (don't worry, I'm not becoming destructive in any way). I just really hope that the one thing I was really holding out on will still work out. It's mostly my fault, to be sure. I have trouble in this area as it is, I'm inexperienced. But maybe I'll pull through and go ahead. Only then will I know whether or not it works out or not.

It's easier to keep this particular part of my life in limbo, but the longer I do, the closer I get to Hell rather than Heaven (terrible metaphor, but it describes it basically enough).

Don't put too much thought into this if you're reading this; this post I think is mostly for me (and a few people, who hopefully all know who they are). If you do give a crap though, I'd be happy to talk to you, privately.

Signing off,
A Very Worried Tiberius Jones